Why couldn’t anyone understand me? All I ever wanted was to love and be loved. I had my reasons for acting the way I did but I was not going to explain my behavior. The problem with me was that I never expressed my feelings. I deeply hided them in the most obscure place of my soul. I didn’t want to get hurt; I wasn’t going to get hurt again.
He told me he did not deserve it and I had no doubt. Even though I didn’t want to accept it, he really didn’t deserve it. Josh waited for me for the longest time and I still felt insecure; my mind was always thinking negatively. But what could I do? I had promised to myself that I wasn’t going to fall in love again. My heart wanted to fall in love but my head told me not to listen to it. It was too soon for me to start a new relationship so I thought that it would be better if I waited.
That is exactly what I did. The problem was that Josh gave up on me. My heart collapsed as I heard the news that he had a girlfriend. I couldn’t blame him or hate him. My friends did warned me about it but I was so sure that he was going to keep on waiting a little longer for me to be ready. I wasted my time thinking about our future, thinking how beautiful life would be next to him.
But nothing lasts forever. I learned that the hard way. At first, my mind was full of confusion and negativism. Later on, I learned that a negative mind can never give you a positive life. I thought about taking the risk; but when I did it was too late. Josh was already starting a new life without me and it was devastating. He started to become distant and the way he talked to me was different. Noticing the plain clear view of his brown eyes was not difficult.  Things were going to drastically change and I knew I wasn’t going to like it.
The pain almost killed me and I was about to give up. For one second I thought that my life was over and that it was ruined. I was not thinking straight and my mind was now paralyzed. Love had played another game on me but this time I was not going to let it win. I made another decision in my life; I decided to leave the past behind and to learn how to live the future. I learned that sometimes we have to be strong because being strong is our only option.