secrets | Teen Ink

secrets

March 29, 2014
By Hillouise GOLD, Pretoria, Other
Hillouise GOLD, Pretoria, Other
11 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have found that a person is only happy as he chooses to be" - Abraham Lincoln.
"Nothing is Impossible, the word itself says I'm possible" - Audrey Hepburn.


She darted around the thousands of students, stalking about like predators ready to strike. She climbed deeper into her hoodie, thankful for its warmth and camouflage. Taking careful steps she managed to dodged around the her old selves, thousands upon thousands of them. For a moment she congratulated herself, she was after all not to bad at being invisible after being a rainbow. She tripped over a bag lunging carelessly in the hallway gained her step but bumped into one of them. He's curly head whipped around but just too late, she had disappeared already.
She heaved herself into the ancient classroom, smiling. It felt like walking straight into the past itself, a knife stabbed itself into her heart to quick. The last time she stood in a History class it all fell apart. With a great effort her legs pulled her to a seat in the far corner of the class, invisible, it practically screamed to her. She was the only one in the class, not even the teacher had arrived, the silence suited her. Moments later she was huddled over the old copy of Oliver Twist. She wasn't one much for Charles dickens, or classics matter of factly but this book was special. She knew it off by heart. She knew it off by heart since she was six. It was her closest link to the past, the only thing that had kept her and her family sane. All too soon the classroom filled with noise and shuffling. She stuffed her book away before anyone saw it and cursed that the chair couldn't swallow her in and hide her from the world. Under thick dark lashes she watched people file into the classroom, a Neanderthal, she had known her share of them and winced inwardly. The Neanderthal was followed by a few airheads and after that a group of kids. Rainbows she called them to her sister. Why rainbows? It was impossible not to notice them. One caught her eye especially, he had a mop of dark curly. The guy she had bumped into earlier. She just hoped he didn't notice her in the hall but even as she the hopes filled her his eyes fell on her. She jerked back and crawled deeper into herself. Impatiently she waited for the hindered teacher to come, the noise making her skin crawl and her heart throb uncomfortably. Her head threatened to burst as the noise rose, she pressed her hands to her ears in a futile effort to keep it in tact. 5,4,3,2...
"Ok, Ok quiet down everyone, this is history not a social club. Geoffrey sit down."
Neanderthal fell in his seat. She turned around the room acknowledging everyone, finally her eyes fell on Jackie. Not so invisible after all she thought to herself.
"You must be the new student then... hhmmmmm," she ticked through the class list finally stopping at the bottom. "Jackie."
The black hood nodded.
"Welcome Jackie." Her eyes narrowed. "I must warn you though that even though this school has a casual clothing policy, hoodies are not accepted to be worn over the head in classrooms. Especially in this hot weather."
Of course she was right, it was nearly 30 degrees Celsius outside. Jackie's heart beat so loud she was surprised that no one heard it. Please don't, she prayed silently.
"I must ask you to take the hoodie off please."
Her heart seemed to beat so loud she could barely hear the teachers words. Luckily she wore a long sleeved shirt underneath the hoodie but what about her face. Her face, goodness, they couldn't see it. reluctantly she slipped the jacket off revealing her favourite blue shirt, it reminded her of the sea, the breeze, her dad. Very softly, so soft it was actually beautiful she removed the head piece of her hoodie. A waterfall of auburn hair rushing out and a long scar on the side of her face exposed. So much for being invisible. She heard everyone gasp. She was ugly. Her eye started throbbing the way it always did when she was about to cry. She didn't dare look up to the horrified faces around her but she felt everyone draw back the way everyone always did when they were exposed to her beast.
"Ok...Ok everyone, look at me. EVERYONE. I want you to break into pairs now and discuss all the advantages of history and how it shapes the world. Write an essay about it and hand it in by the end of next week."
Desks complained and chairs screamed as everyone ran to their friends. Giggles erupted and laughs ran through the class. She didn't bother, no one would come to her voluntarily, plus she had counted the class, she was only the spare part. She would be lodged into a group somewhere. She continued staring at the table and started drawing. The same picture that haunted her mind forever since THAT day. Suddenly a chair scraped her attention back. She jumped and stared unbelieving at the boy in front of her, his curly hair pointing in six directions at once.
"Kyle," he stuck out his hand.
"Jackie," she shook it. Reality unable to penetrate the layers of shock disbelieve and joy in her mind.
"So your new?"
No duh, she thought to herself. "yeah I guess so," she said out loud.
"So you got any friends yet?"
"We only arrived in town yesterday."
"How is it?"
She shrugged, "I've only seen lamp posts and stars. I mean don't get me wrong your lamp posts are very attractive but I don't think it'd be fair if I judged your town on lamp posts."
He laughed. She scolded herself. She was supposed to be invisible not funny.
"Thank you, out lamp posts appreciate it. Could you guys see the sea?"
Her eyes shot up, the green in them twinkled but then died down again to their dull sadness.
"No, is it beautiful?"
"More beautiful than you can imagine."
She found that hard to believe. She had seen her fair share of sea's.
"its the colour of your jersey, maybe bluer."
She looked down and pulled the jersey further over her fingers. Her Jersey was the colour of the sea, that's why her dad bought it for her. It was so she could always remember the sea.
"Do you go to the sea often?" she managed past her lips.
"My family goes every weekend," he shrugged.
Her heart surged, oh how she missed the beach. She hadn't been since the accident. It wasn't safe for her to be alone anymore.
"How about you?"
"I used to go everyday. On my own or with my sister."
"I want working not chatting about what you're going to do the weekend. Need I remind you this is History not a social club."
With a mind of their own her eyes shot to the teacher who had made at least three rounds around the classroom, but not once did she look at Jackie. Her eyes darted round the classroom as she saw whispered conversations and quick glances to her. Snickers rose evilly from the mouths of offenders and Geoffrey the Neanderthal actually stared at her openly, a look of disgust on his face. She turned back quickly dropping a veil of hair in front of her face, her only shield. Her eye throbbed now viciously.
"Let's...Let's start." her voice wobbled and trembled and her eyes blurred but she refused to look up. No reply issued from across her, she looked up deciding that Kyle had left. He was right to do so, she was a beast and unsafe. But when her eyes slid up he sat still, studying her carefully. He had been watching her the whole time she realised. A tear threatened to escape, from her eye but she couldn't lower her head. He didn't allow her to.
"Don't worry about them. They're idiots and stupid."
She nodded, not trusting her voice. Without noticing it, she lightly drew her finger along her scar, from her forehead to the edge of her eye until her chin. It was truly horrible, it drew her once beautifully round eye to small squint, hanging skew on her face.
"Let's do the work," she said in a barely audible whisper.


The author's comments:
Life scars us all whether physical, emotional or mental. How we re-act to life after it has made its mark is up to us

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