Dear Mr. Major,



Saying I’m sorry for the millionth time is truly absurd. I know what I did to you. You know what happened, for the most part. But what you don’t know is what was running through my head that day. The look on your face… I knew you were hurt. I knew it had broken you. Trusting me so much with something so intimate. I didn’t know what to do… what to say… because sorry really doesn’t cut it. If you had trusted me with your life, would I have let you down then? Would I have seen the anger and the hurt as you slipped out of my grasp? No, because that’s your life. That’s not a secret. Honestly, I don’t even know if your secret was true. Maybe you didn’t really trust me… maybe you fed me a lie just to test me. Is that how it was? Always second guessing because you’ve already been hurt? Because she broke your heart? Because you felt like leading others on? Honestly? Do you want me to be honest? This apology is hard, you know, remembering all the terrible things you did too. This isn’t just on my end… you honestly deserve better. And, I know you’ve tried to find it. And I know she ripped your heart out again and again. Do you know that’s what you did to me? Not twice but three times? Three times I fell for it. The last time so hard I think my skull fractured when you let me hit the ground. Never once have you apologized. Never. I guess I’m the better person. One day, I hope you’ll come to terms with how awful both of us were. Maybe then we can talk again, not like now when we share laughs and then realize who we’re looking at. This isn’t easy for me, but I’m sticking it out and waiting. I’m truly sorry…to both of you.