For most of my life I have been flying the sky, although it has only been 4 hours. And I just learned to fly and hour ago. But that’s not the point. The point is that my life as a mayfly is horrible. People swatting at me, bats trying to eat me, and all of that stuff. And I’ve only got about 8 hours left to live. Some people may think that it’s not a long life but to me it’s a pretty good life. I mean flying around in the moonlit sky, watching the trees sway back and fourth, and the best part is riding with the wind. Sometimes the wind is so strong it’s like I’m riding on waves in the Bahamas. The scariest part is at night. The bats whisper, “I’m coming for you.” It can be very spine-chilling.

And I hate that good for nothing brother of mine. He is always saying he can fly faster, higher, and longer because he’s “older than me”. O yea he’s really older than me. He’s only 27 seconds older. That means absolutely nothing. Well anyway sometimes those people can get really confusing. Some want me to land on their hands and some want to get stuck to a piece of paper or get hit by the fly swatter.

Those bats are the worst though. At night they fly in circles waiting for something to come to them to have been eaten like mosquitoes or my kind (mayflies). And it is horrifying when someone gets caught because then all you hear is a long muffled “aaaaahhhhh” and then complete silence. It is really gruesome. But I never come out at night because I know of these dangers.

I have a funny story to tell you. Ok, my friend was flying and all the sudden a big piece of bird poop fell on him and he got stuck on the ground. I had to help get him out to. It smelled horrible. Like moldy eggs with a little bit of garlic butter on the side dipped in a smashed potato. And the poop was all rocky, like a 14 year old rocky road sundae. It was So gross. When my friend was trying to get out he was like “EW EW EW EW EW!” and I started laughing so hard I forgot how to fly for a second and I fell into the poop. Well telling you this story took about another 2 hours out of my life. But I don’t care. OH MY GOD you wasted my life thanks a lot. Now I only have 6 hours to live. Thanks a lot.