Being an angel of The Lord isn’t always easy.
Some days I just want to spread my fluffy, white wings and descend from Heaven but I know I can’t. Being an angel is my life…my duty. I’m actually a guardian of a little girl named Lucy. I never knew how much children needed to be protected from danger until I was assigned to her. I need to watch her when she gets on the school bus, off the school bus, when she’s at school, at the park, at the grocery store with her parents, on a play date, when she’s taking a bath…I need to be there every second of everyday…and now that I actually think about it the only time I have to myself is when she’s sleeping. That’s when I break out my bottle of Jack Daniel’s and my pack of Marlboro.
I know you’re thinking “I thought angels were perfect” but they’re not, God is perfect. If all angels were perfect don’t you think Lucifer wouldn’t have lost his grace?
For those eight hours that I’m not on the job I find this little corner in Heaven where I know I won’t be interrupted, I shed my long white robes, pull up a stool, fill my glass with ice; before I realize I don’t need to be classy so I drink out of the bottle, and light a cigarette.
I let all my worries go as I take that first refreshing sip and the first drag.
I know God knows what I do in those eight hours but He doesn’t dare do anything about it because I’m the best guardian angel He has.
One of my brothers, the Archangel Michael, accidentally discovered my hiding spot and threatened to get my wings ripped off. The thing he wasn’t aware of was that I knew he got with a mortal woman and impregnated her. Once I mentioned that he stood down and never came within 500 feet of my drinking spot since. I constantly try to block out the harmonious music coming from the angel’s harps in the throne room so I can focus on my drinking but it’s no use. It’s too beautiful and relaxing. I can usually feel God’s eyes watching me and that’s about the time when the image of Lucifer being cast out of Heaven with his legion of demons crosses my mind. He’s the one who does it so I remember what can happen to me if I fail to obey His every command.
To be completely honest, I thought about defying him. I want to feel the pain of what He** has to offer. To God I’m just another angel…I wonder if Satan would treat me like I’m more than a slave.
I drink the whole bottle of whiskey on most occasions just so I can forget the events of the previous day. Lucy doesn’t think about me which means she won’t smell the alcohol on me when I show up for my daily shift. Don’t get me wrong I love Lucy and all but…she’s ungrateful. She didn’t thank me when I protected her from getting bitten by a poisonous snake or when I caught her when she fell out of an oak tree….
Sadly, eight hours on earth is equal to about ten minutes in Heaven….it’s time for me to get back to work.
So you just heard my story of being an Angel of the Lord.