The discovery of who I am took me on a fifty six year journey. My entire life IÕve been told to strive to be better, and to never give up. My father neglected me as a child. He was never around, and when he was he was always in the office, working on something that had nothing to do with me. When I wanted to do something with him, he was too busy. My entire life IÕve been trying to be like him, and to be the best at what I do, and to never fail. I am the CEO at my late fathers company, and I own a separate house in three different states. IÕve been married once and have remained faithful to the woman of my dreams. But I have failed. Twelve years ago my son was born, beautiful and plump, lively with spunk. In the pictures. I missed my sonÕs birth; I was at a conference in Houston. Like father like son. It was a lot like how I missed his first birthday, and all the others for that matter, except for one. I was there for his eighth birthday. It was a day that I will never forget. For now I lie in this hospital bed, the same bed that IÕve been in for half a year, wondering where I am.



The plane landed in the early morning, and I was brought to my beautiful home, my wife standing by the door to greet me. Josh was still sleeping when I got there, and as he slept my wife sat by my side, just holding me. I had been gone for a month. When Josh awoke, all drowsy and adorable, he saw me and erupted with a smile. I embraced him and said, Happy birthday, son.Ó


I told him it was his day, his day to do whatever he wanted. My wife made me turn off my pager, but as I got into the car I turned it back on, almost on instinct. Josh was all smiles the entire drive, and when we got to the ball field, he ran out with a cheer, holding his birthday present from me. It was a dragon kite, almost as big as him, and when he unraveled it, it flew higher and higher into the sky. My son and I ran around the field all day, behind the back stop, across the outfield, and around the bases, flying his new kite. The fastest I had ever seen my sons face turn from peer joy to utter depression was that day, when my pager went off. It was also the day that I cried, the first time in a very long time. Crystal tears slipped down my cheeks as I saw my son stare out the window at the vanishing fields with sorrow. But I had to go, it was important.


That was four and a half years ago, and it remained the only birthday of his that I had made an appearance. On his twelfth birthday my limo was hit broadside by a sixteen wheeler tractor trailer on the way to his party. I am in a severe coma and have been in this bed ever since. Visitors come and go, crying and laughing, sharing memories and tears. Every family member and friend that is alive has made an appearance, except for one. My best friend, and son, Josh. I do not know why, and I do not know how I know, but I do. Every time I think about it, it sends me deeper and deeper into this place, this place that I am lost in. It was not until this very day, that Josh walked into the room. I know he did, because I can now see where I am. IÕm running in a field, with my son and a dragon kite.