"How did it all start?"
Hearing my counciler's voice made me confortable, not completely, but somewhat.
"It started off with a simple chore."
"And what chore was that?"
"The dishes..."
May 2008;
"Honey can you help me do the dishes? Im in such a hurry today."
"Of course mom."
I quickly did the dishes and ran off to my room to read.
May 2009;
"I have a list of chores that you need to do when I'm gone."
I stared at the list of many chores. It was a lot, but I handled it.
May 2010;
"STUPID GIRL! YOU CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!"
My mother threw her shoe at me. I dodged it, trying to fix my mistake. It wasnt a big deal. I just forgot to put my finished plate in the sink. Running to my room, I finished my homework and fell fast asleep. The next day I was greeted by my new friend, that I met a few months ago, Richard.
"Hey BFF!" Richard joked.
"Haha, Hey Richard. How was your weekend?"
"Not so good. It would have been better if you were with me."
I turned a bright shade of red. Had Richard liked me?
"I would have loved to be there," I winked at him "But I had to do chores for my mom."
"Awh that sucks. Uhm..do you think your free on Friday night?"
A huge smile went across my face.
"Of course im free, is this a date?"
"....Yeah its supposed to be..."
I could tell that he was nervous. The bell suddenly rang.
"So do you want to meet me at the movies, 7:00pm?"
"Sure, I need to come up with a lie so I can leave my house."
"Awesome, see you friday!"
"Bye"
I walked to class in amazement. My first date. I couldnt tell my parents. They were very strict. I wasnt allowed to date at all. Relizing I was late, I ran all the way to my classroom. There I saw the assistant principle there.
"Come this way young lady."
I became very frightened, wondering if I was in trouble. I knew my parents would kill me if I got in trouble. I Followed the assistant principle to his office, in dead silence. There, was my mom.
"Honney I have to take you home for the day."
"Uhmm, ok."
I didnt know what to say. I walked outside to my moms car, not knowing what to do.
"You missed a spot when you were dusting."
"Sorry mom."
"Sorry doesnt cut it. This is the reason why I brang you home. I want you to dust everything, right in front of me so I can see you did it right."
"Ok im sorry."
Inside my head, I was furious. I couldnt say anything. My mom would hit me if I did.
June 2010;
There was good news and bad news. The good news; I had my first kiss with Richard. It was the most amazing feeling ever. The bad news; My mom totally hated my guts. She was pushing me too hard. I was so close to bursting.
"YOUR THE WORST CHILD EVER!! I CAN EVEN SAY I REGRET HAVING YOU!!" My mom was in rages because I missed a spot when I vaccumed. I was getting scared, really scared. My mother hated me. It was official. She picked up the vaccum and threw it at me. I ran to my room, crying my eyes out. Then, I saw it. My pocket knife. I picked it up, moving it toward my arm. I gently began to cut my arm. I felt the rush of blood coming out of me. It felt absolutely amazing.
July 2010;
I began cutting myself more and more. It gave me relief, and it felt really good. Another relief in my life was Richard, my boyfriend. I feel in love with him over the months ive been dating him. I think he felt the same way.
Augest 2010;
Now I been cutting myself way to often. Its been a bad habbit, a hard-to-break one. I really couldnt though. It became part of me. But on the bright side, me and Richard became really close. Its a good sign.
September 2010;
I hated my life. Everything about it. I couldnt take it anymore. I hated my mom. I hated how Richard broke up with me a few days ago. I hated how all the kids at school started hating me. I just hated everything. I really turned to cutting myself way to often. It wasnt my fault that everything was bad. I couldnt help it.
October 2010;
Im done hating my life. I decided to change it. I was going to seek help. It was my last choice. I wanted to be better. I had to. I was determined.
November 2010;
"I see whats going on. I think you need to talk to Richard about the break up and ask if you want to just be friends. It works for almost everybody. Being friends is better than nothing. And about the problem at school. Start getting involed in more activities so you can meet new people. The kids at your age are growing and theyre changing. Your not the only kid with this problem. And the problem with your mom, I suggest that you both come into my office once a week for counciling. I think I can help you guys out. Do you think after all of this is over, do you still think your going to have a cutting problem?"
"..No, not at all. Im going to change my life around. Starting right now."
I picked up my cell phone to call Richard.