I sigh, feeling almost like I want to cry. The first time I find a friend after my......."accident" and she won't even talk to me now. Slowly, I begin to walk, stepping into a mental daze, not seeing where I was going, not hearing anything, not caring. But I wouldn't cry. That is weak of me to even want to. The colors of the world around me seem to blur and I had no clue where I was going. Asher had definately hurt me. The first time I let someone close enough to be friends and I get hurt. Maybe I just need to shut down, never let anyone get close. It only hurts when I do.

Suddenly I stand before the ocean, tossing an turning its waves about the cliff I now stood upon. I sink to my knees and stare out into the night sky, watching the twinkling silver stars. Sighing, I feel a single tear slid down my cheek. Weak.....

And then he came, his prescence warming the chill that had overtaken. "What's the matter? What was Asher talking about back there?" he asked and I felt a small tinge of fear rise in my chest. I didn't turn to look at him. I simply stared out to sea, watching the waves as I told my horrible story; the story of how I became what I am, a vampire.

"It was six months ago, on my eighteenth birthday. My boyfriend, Ralph had told me to meet him in the parking lot beside my favorite restraunt. I didn't suspect him. I didn't even think about it. When he finally showed up about a half an hour late I was just glad to see him. But as soon as I got out of my car he pushed me against the side of it. I asked me what he was doing but he didn't answer. Suddenly I was surrounded by vampires with glowing red eyes. Ralph had me pinned and though I struggled with all my strength I couldn't get free. He kissed me and then punched me out cold. When I woke I was chained up in what looked like an extremely huge basement. I looked down at the chains but saw tattoos covering my arms and torso. I was naked and covered in tattoos. What happened? Where am I? Then I remembered....Ralph....he....he helped kidnap me. Suddenly all people with glowing red eyes came down the stairs. 'I'll take this one as a snack,' one said and I remember shivering violently. The one that said that came to me and I kick and thrashed even though I was chained to the wall. He pinned my limbs to the wall and bit me. I screamed and tried to break free but he was too strong for me. The others cheered him on. And as he drank from me I came up with a crazy idea that would change my entire life. I bit him back. His blood seeped into my mouth and I almost gagged on it. He jerked back for a second. He smiles at me. 'This one is a fighter' he says. Another comes over and grips my wrist so tight I know it's going to break. But it doesn't. He bites me there on the wrist. And another comes and bites my other wrist. They all find spots and they drink me dry. I could still taste that guy's blood and then my body started to burn with an icy hot flame. They all pull away and I know I barely had a single drop left in my veins. I can't see straight. Everything is shifting. Then Ralph comes to me and unlocks the chains, picking me up in his arms. My body won't work. I can't move. My entire body is limp and I see the sun for the last time as Ralph carried me outside, just before I pass out." I heard Asher's light footsteps coming up behind Derek and me. But I continued. This might answer her question about why I am the way I am now.

"I wake again lying naked in the middle of an abandoned parking lot. My entire body hurts and my eyes are killing me. The sun is about to rise. I'm afraid and I don't know why. They had left me for dead. I look down at the tattoos marking my entire body and I feel a hunger that I've never known rise in my gut. And that's when I found I was no longer human. I sat there and just cried. I had been raped while I was unconscious and now I'm no longer human. I'll never see the sun ever again. I find a thin towel in the dumpster and wrap it around me. It couldn't be any more dirty than how I feel right now. I walk until I find my car. I drive home and my parents don't understand. They don't know their daughter is a monster. They send me here because I wouldn't talk to anyone. Not even to them." I was near bawling when I finished my horrifying story, but I still didn't turn to look at Asher. I don't want to see the pity that must be written all over her face. The memories I had tried to suppress were coming back in a violent rush and I couldn't stop them. "They came back last month. They tried to do it all again. But.....but they didn't expect me to be one of them. I......I killed them.....All of them...."