Do you ever get that feeling that you live in a bad neighborhood? The
leaves are scattered everywhere. You can smell pot every couple of
blocks. A raccoon crosses the street, there's still snow on the
ground. Wood fences either have too much spray paint over them, or
they are slanted and bent over.

Finally, close to the end of my walk, I turn a dark corner and become
face to face with a pack of three wolves.

Whoa.
You're just now listening to my story?
Let's go back a bit.

"My parents don't know I took the car, dude. I need to get home fast.
I can't drive you all the way home."
Sam pulls over into a major parking lot.

I look at him. "Are you kidding me? My house is half the town away
from here! It's dark out, I'll get raped!" Although Sam is panicked, I
can still make him laugh.

"It won't be a long walk. Just put on your iPod and go." Sam tells me.

The car comes to a stop, and he stares at me. That's my queue to get
out. I grab my backpack from between my legs, and close the door
behind me. He opens the passenger window. "I wish I could get you down
there, dude. Call me when you get home."

"Yeah, sure." I respond. I grab my phone from my pocket, and it goes
from low battery to dead. How the hell did I end up here? I turn the
phone on again, to possibly call my dad, but the phone dies again.

So, I look down the main road to home. It's an endless abyss of car
lights, street lights, building lights. The earth always seems
brighter at night for me.

So I start walking. I press shuffle on my iPod. The first song that
plays is "Wonderwall" by Oasis, and I get to walking. The first
thought that comes to mind is marching band from the seventh grade,
nearly three years ago. I smile at this, and look down to my feet, in
my head, Im thinking, "Left. Left. Left, right, left." Marching was
easy.

Wonderwall makes the world seem a little brighter, as if it wasn't
already. I look to the left and I see a church. Just then, my iPod
switched over to "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace. I look
into the windows of the church and watch as kids run around, playing
tag.

Poor kids. They don't yet realize that their innocent little minds
will be plagued with the idea that after this life, there's a better
one. They'll be taught to become slaves for one man who died for our
sins, and that He is watching over us every day. What if this is
heaven, now? What if it doesn't get better than this? Oh wait, you'll
go to hell for questioning His order.

I definitely didn't feel a godly presence around me when my parents
seperated. If you ask me, God is a profit plan. Can't sell your own
book idea? Just grab his teachings and put it in a different cover.
Bam. You now have a million dollars.

Looking down at my feet, I'm thinking, "Left. Left. Left, right, left."

Just after the church, the sidewalk ends. The street is too busy, I
can't cross the street. My iPod switches over to "Anyone Else but You"
by the Moldy Peaches. Thinking of an old relationship, I quickly
change the song to stop myself from going insane. I don't like to call
it cheating. Because cheating means you get some sort of benefit. But
I still won't make excuses. It happened nearly two years ago.

The iPod switches to "One More Time" by Daft Punk. I'm walking down
the dirt road, slowly losing my way, away from the main road. I turn
back around and make myself walk in the bike lane. iPod switches to
"Hotel California" by The Eagles.

I look to my left and see an apartment building. The first window I
see has the blinds closed. The second, a lonely bald man is staring at
a computer. My assumption is he's looking at his child pornography. A
middle aged woman sits in her bed and stares at the tv, watching the
news. Death by blindness, or overdose of information? The fourth
window, a man lies on the floor. Heroin overdose, I'm certain.

These are the kids that were taught from birth that Jesus was their
savior. Their meaning of life. Their reason for living without sin.
After living under extremely Christian parents, the kids had to rebel
sometime. This is how they did it. The entire time they downloaded
their kiddie porn, or inserted heroin into their bloodstream, they
were thinking, "Look at me now, Daddy!"

And I'm looking at my feet, thinking, "Left. Left. Left, right, left."

iPod switches to "Hits From the Bong" by Cypress Hill. Four guys are
sitting in a playground smoking pot.

iPod switches to "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin, and a man
stumbles his way from the bar to his car, and speeds his way out of
the parking lot.

iPod switches to "Where'd You Go?" by Fort Minor, and I pass a sign on
the crosswalk post, saying, "Have you seen my boy? If so, call this
number." A reward, it says. Yeah, I saw your boy. He's on this old
dude's computer about a mile back. You're welcome.

I come to a fork in the road. I could take the lighted route home, and
make it there about ten minutes after the time it would take me if I
took the dark bike trail.

My iPod switches to "Decode" by Paramore. I look toward the lighted
route, and I see these three fat girls in the distance, carrying
Twilight books and wearing Edward Cullen shirts. I wonder what would
happen if I told them there was a Twilight themed dildo out now..
Edward Cullen wouldn't sparkle in the sunlight. He would f***ing burn.

So I take the bike trail.

And looking down at my feet, I'm thinking, "Left. Left. Left, right,
left."

My uncle once told me once not to walk around at night in this town.
There are mountain lions and wolves out there, he would say, and
they're hungry. I've always wanted to become a wolf. You look at the
animal channels, and you see a pack of wolves take down bears.

I make my way down the bike trail, and cross the bridge, into my
lighted neighborhood. No harm done, although I wished there was.

My iPod switches to "House of Wolves" by My Chemical Romance.

Do you ever get that feeling that you live in a bad neighborhood? The
leaves are scattered everywhere. You can smell pot every couple of
blocks. A raccoon crosses the street, there's still snow on the
ground. Wood fences either have too much spray paint over them, or
they are slanted and bent over. There are three police officers on one
street.

Finally, close to the end of my walk, I turn a dark corner and become
face to face with a pack of three wolves.

What was I supposed to do, play dead? I'm standing up. Wolves aren't
that stupid. I wish I could tell them just to bite my neck and infect
my blood, so I can become One of the Wolves.

My iPod switches to "Run Like Hell" by Pink Floyd. I'm not sure that's
the solution. I click next on the iPod through my pocket.

My iPod switches to "Dead!" by My Chemical Romance.



And I'm looking at my feet, marching in place before I am tackled and
mauled, "Left. Left. Left, right, left."