It’s cold we think, shivering into each other. Too cold we think in unison, staring into each other’s bottomless eyes, trying to see the mirror at the end, searching for ourselves. We’ve never been apart, never will be. Stuck together, as if in a trap, or maybe some cruel birthday party. ‘Surprise!’ the world shouts, grinning as they present us with each other. ‘Do you like it?’ Of course we do, we’re obliged to say we absolutely adore the gift of an eternal companion. We are positively delighted by the prospect of a forever staring into cold, hard eyes, and knowing that’s all we both will ever see. Frozen in time these precious moments will remain: a wilting candle, the flame blackened like our hearts after infinite eons of bitterness. Maybe a torn shred of color from the corner of our locked eyes, the hope of a scrap of music reaching our deaf ears. We’re thinking we realize, simultaneously. Are we waking up?
Is this what a heartbeat feels like? This writhing discomfort in the tips of our hands, is this what it’s like to feel? This aching and grating of our skin, of muscles being torn into motion a cracking of bones that have never been used. And is that a tear in our eyes, eyes that are draining out their endlessness, rising to meet us? Are we free?
“Is this it?” The first three words spoken tear and clamor at out sanity, shredding ears that have spent all of existence closed to all but the sound of silence. Noises of breath rip our hearts out, so loud, so real in this place. As we slide gratingly into motion, hands slipping on the fabric of the universe, noise pulses in our minds, our hearts flicker to life as one.
Sight. It is a physical pain to tear our eyes away from each other. It hurts to see so much, so suddenly: an eternity of visions in the span of seconds. Vitreous and aqueous humor ripples behind violently dilating pupils. A sob in the suddenly filled void.
Did you say that?...No, but you did...we aren’t we anymore?...No. That can’t be, we’ve always been us...but you...and you...and me?...maybe...what...do...we...you...do...now?
DO. We can do. You can do and I can do. Have the power to DO! TO MAKE! TO DESTROY! TO FEEL! TO THINK! We can BE! We can EXIST! We ARE! We can be SEPARATE!
Separate...we...you...I and you...we can leave each other...is that it? We just leave?...I think...no more you...and no more you...and aloneness...none of anything?...not if we...you and I...not if you and I don’t want to...
“I’m going to be the first to leave.”
“I’m going to be the first to stay.”
“I’m going to bring nothing, leave nothing.”
“I’m going to keep everything, and never let it go.”
“What does that make you?”
“Destroy...I will clutch the world close and never let it go...keep it from the rest like a trophy. The world will grieve after me, and I will not care.”
“And I will go where you cannot reach. I will never again be a part of you.”
“But I’ll hoard you too. Keep you in a jar in my heart. Break you down...”
“And I will make worlds in my wake. You will not be able to keep it all from me. There will be no space I am not constantly filling with things you cannot hope to grasp.”
“Then I will never rest till I have it all, till nothing remains.”
So it will be...our last thoughts together...are goodbyes yours to give or mine to keep?...both...
The void began to wake up, slowly at first, then rapidly, like a raging fire. Creation frolicked through all its somethings, casting them to the far corners of life itself. But Destruction is not giving. Greedily it steals all, patches of sheer nothingness will drop out of Creation’s Playground. It leaves scraps of Death, to be glossed over by new beginnings. Things begin to create themselves, destroying others in a frenzied spazz of self-preservation. Voids are always popping up in the most unexpected places, to expand till a single drop of life falls on their surface. The never-ending cycle has begun, the very meaning of everything and nothing was laid out...when Creation and Destruction awoke.