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September 26, 2009
By LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
More by this author
LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
90% of my happiness is coming from my pants. <br /> <br /> Alright, alright, sorry, inside joke. Okay how about: &quot;If you give a man a fire, he&#039;ll be warm for a day; if you set a man on fire, he&#039;ll be warm for the rest of his life.&quot; -Terry Pratchett.

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[Note: Between every line, the camera cuts to a different person. Two people are not in the same shot at the same time unless otherwise specified. These shots alternate between WS, MS, and MCU, at the director's digression.]



RYAN: (steps up to frame)Ryan here, star of Action-Tastic 3: Revenge of the baby puncher; I'd like to assure you that no babies were harmed in the making of this film.



NATE: (Brandishing a baby doll) See? It's fake.



ELLY: Punching real babies is a crime.



LAURA: So we at Really Cheesy Productions would like to remind you:



ALL IN UNISON: Never ever punch a baby.



RYAN: Not even a gay baby!



LAURA: Especially not a gay baby!



ELLY: Gay babies are our future.



NATE: They have an evil plot to overthrow us all!



LAURA: That's not actually true.



RYAN: When you feel like directing your anger at a baby, take a deep breath and direct it at cute little animals instead.



NATE: Like this cat! (Nate is holding a cat)



[Cat is flung violently over LAURA and ELLY's horrified heads.]



ELLY: Um, no cats were harmed in the making of this feature?



LAURA:...yeah. It's gonna be okay, right?



[Technical Difficulty bars flash onto screen.]

© David K., Birkenhead, UK

The author's comments:
A two-min-or-less screenplay. Feel free to use, just credit me as the author in the credits, and let me know if you intend to film it!
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This article has 68 comments.

Its_Brooklyn BRONZE said...
on Apr. 14 2021 at 7:56 pm
Its_Brooklyn BRONZE, Lancaster, Wisconsin
1 article 16 photos 13 comments
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I love your work!!!! If you want you could check out mine?
Liv_okj said...
on Jan. 29 2021 at 3:06 pm
Liv_okj, Boise, Idaho
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
“They’re not hideous,” said Tessa.<br /> Will blinked at her. “What?”<br /> “Gideon and Gabriel,” said Tessa. “They’re really quite good-looking, not hideous at all.”<br /> “I spoke,” said Will, in sepulchral tones, “of the pitch-black inner depths of their souls.”<br /> Tessa snorted. “And what color do you suppose the inner depths of your soul are, Will Herondale?”<br /> “Mauve,” said Will.”

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This was a long time ago, but it's HILARIOUS. You probably aren't allowed to write anymore because you are probably older than 19, but you should write a full play. I hope you continue with your work, It's amazing.
jordynnangeleen said...
on Sep. 2 2016 at 11:29 am
jordynnangeleen,
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
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make more!!
sabbylynn BRONZE said...
on Apr. 20 2016 at 12:38 pm
sabbylynn BRONZE, Lehigh Acres, Florida
2 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you want something you have never gotten, you will have to do something you have never done<br /> Well behaved women seldom make history

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all of the stuff you write is soo funny i love it so much
GummyBearQueen2 SILVER said...
on Aug. 26 2012 at 3:23 pm
GummyBearQueen2 SILVER, Johannesburg, Other
8 articles 3 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Everything will be okay in the end. If it&#039;s not okay, it&#039;s not the end&quot;- I&#039;m not sure, so I&#039;m going to say anonymous.

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Hehe, so fuuuuuuunny! This needs to be made in to a Youtube film. My friends and I love doing these sort of things. We've done a rip-off of the Roommate, and once we even did a completely unrelated film for our language project, in which we had my friend dancing around singing. We got detention, but the class went mad. Totally worth it!
bluhs said...
on Jun. 8 2012 at 5:51 pm
bluhs, E, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 111 comments
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Hilarious XD
DreamingOutQuiet SILVER said...
on May. 27 2012 at 2:57 pm
DreamingOutQuiet SILVER, Round Rock, Texas
7 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Time and the bell have buried the day,<br /> The black cloud carries the sun away&quot; - Elliot<br /> <br /> Oh if life where made of moments, even now and then a bad one. Oh, if life where made of moments then we wouldn&#039;t know we had one. - Into the Woods

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I dont think they where.....so chill your piclkes. WHY CANT WEEEE BEEE FRIIEENDSS
StephanieMorrissa SILVER said...
on Apr. 26 2012 at 8:43 am
StephanieMorrissa SILVER, Anderson, South Carolina
9 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;It&#039;s not what people call you, it&#039;s what you answer to.&quot;<br /> -Tyler Perry(Madea)

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You are really funny.. Add some more stuff as soon as you can.. Can't wait to read more of your work! :)
Scribbler-of-Dreams PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 24 2012 at 7:22 am
Scribbler-of-Dreams PLATINUM, Brandon, Florida
23 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love isn&#039;t everything we want, but it&#039;s everything we need....

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So funny...I realy like ur work.
Sammy817 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 3:09 pm
Sammy817 BRONZE, Fort Worth, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can&#039;t break what is already broken

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I love this piece. its really good
Paradise_Lost BRONZE said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 1:10 pm
Paradise_Lost BRONZE, Mountville, Pennsylvania
2 articles 6 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
But paradise is locked and bolted; we must make a journey around the world to see if the back door has, perhaps, been left open.<br /> <br /> Swearing is the last refuge of the imaginitively bankrupt.

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And you, of course, one amazing writer. I'll be waiting for your first movie to come out.
Rocinante SILVER said...
on Oct. 29 2011 at 7:33 am
Rocinante SILVER, Wexford, Pennsylvania
7 articles 1 photo 386 comments
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This is funny! Keep up the awesome work!
NiklausMikaelson1864 SILVER said...
on Oct. 20 2011 at 12:37 pm
NiklausMikaelson1864 SILVER, Southwest Harbor, Maine
5 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Please note that I am saying this as I twirl my metaphorical mustache.&quot; ~Talon McCallister

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Ha! Great job...can't wait to see the next thing you come up with!! <3
angelchild GOLD said...
on Sep. 18 2011 at 7:34 pm
angelchild GOLD, Stockton, California
12 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Once you learn to read, you will be forever free.<br /> - Frederick Douglass, <br /> <br /> A library is infinity under a roof.<br /> - Gail Carson Levine<br /> O, there is lovely to feel a book, a good book, firm in the hand, for its fatness holds rich promise, and you are hot inside to think of good hours to come. <br /> <br /> <br /> - Richard Llewellyn

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this was hilarious!! I think that this would be better directed by teens and a cheap camera for effect.
forever_writing said...
on Aug. 22 2011 at 8:31 pm
forever_writing, Newport News, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;m never the best but I am always the better, and telling me I am the worst gives me the right to prove you wrong.

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It's funny and stupid it reminds me of family guy. Keep on writing!!
dia.dreamer GOLD said...
on Jul. 9 2011 at 10:05 am
dia.dreamer GOLD, Kochi, Other
10 articles 0 photos 145 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.&quot; - Michelangelo<br /> &quot;I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am.&quot; - Sylvia Plath

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RESPECT.

You read my mind!

just-another-url GOLD said...
on Jun. 6 2011 at 11:19 am
just-another-url GOLD, Cannes, Other
16 articles 6 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;It&#039;s a good thing to be strange. Normalness leads to sadness.&quot; -Philip Lester

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agree 100 % :)
Niharika BRONZE said...
on Jun. 3 2011 at 11:38 am
Niharika BRONZE, Kanpur, Other
3 articles 2 photos 3 comments
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LOVE IT. 
snow cone said...
on Jun. 1 2011 at 9:43 am
haha this is really mean but funny..... i love it ..... this could be on MAD t.v.
Fangstorm_The_Vampire GOLD said...
on May. 21 2011 at 10:41 am
Fangstorm_The_Vampire GOLD, Tehachapi, California
15 articles 1 photo 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
It&#039;s a bird!<br /> It&#039;s a midget!<br /> NO. it&#039;s...... EDWARD ELRIC.

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totally random, if a bit cruel. lol