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A Gift
December 16, 2022
She held it in her hands, weighing it. She felt disappointed because today is her 18th birthday, and all she got was this light envelope. But when she unfolded the envelope, she cried out with great surprise as she found a key to a car wrapped in it.
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---description of actions: ‘cried out with great surprise’ shows how she was pleased and amazed see this gift. Shows the difference and contradictions between what she expected and what she saw in the envelope. This makes a more successfully twist of plot.
---uses of verbs: ’Unfolded’ used instead of ‘opening’ describe the movement more precisely.