I feel bygone. As each day goes on I began to fade away, piece by piece. They tell me all the vigorous things about myself. How I'm dying with magnanimous, or how my eyes spark with fire when I laugh. What they don't know it's a mask. I know my life isn't as bad as others. But I still feel vanished and broken. Or maybe it's just the feeling I get. You know, the one where you feel it in your throat, and then your eyes become blurry with a river of tears. Where you just want to scream because everything comes crashing down in your shivering hands. But you just hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep quiet. I guess I'm tired of hiding. I wish life was as simple as a tree petal. You grow up with everyone being the same. Everyone is a pure white small petal, that comes together into beauty. But then one day it's your turn to fly. You glide as you let the wind decide your next step. When you're a flower, everyone looks at you in hope. A flower has no fears, and they don't need to try. They just get to be themselves. In my people desire to become doctors, teachers, or even cooks. But not me, I desire to become a flower. A simple white pure innocent little flower. I follow the long list of rules that society makes me. I told in my danger and pain so that other will feel something beautiful. I guess I am tired of following the people who are afraid of everything in life. The ones that always do what is right and never look over to the thrill of excitement. I use to dream, I used to have hope and do what I want in life. I used to have followers. But now I don’t I am here, alone, agreeing to whatever is thrown at me.  As the hot summer sun rises I know now what I need to do. They can’t keep us contained like animals in a cage. I hop down from a tall tree hidden way beyond the places I should be. I walk back through the long brown grass. Everything here is dead, or dying, including me. But not for long. In Order to do this I can’t be timid or show signs of fear. I also can’t let any feelings get in my way, In Order for me to survive I need to become total emotionless. As I reach the old rusted fence that contains the people who my society likes to call “ Different” I find myself becoming more aware of what is going on.

**********
I breathe out as I approach the rows and rows of old boring grey houses where many more are kept. Rows of houses, 8 by 12, surrounded by a long rusted wire fence that goes for miles on. Eached watched by one tall dark masculine guard. Memories rush back into mind at the thought of fear from Him. The dark tall one, whose mind and heart  is grey and cloudy like a thunderstorm. 
He flung me down to the hard dirt floor
“Damn, you dumb girl.” he laughed as he towered over my quivering body.
He stood there defiant with his balled fist and jaw set. He smiled a twisted smirk, as he stepped forward and hit me across my now burning face. Blood fuming from my nostrils. I gouged myself to keep from speaking, as tears stream down. I bit my lips, as I taste the faint blood.
“What a shame you are.” He shook his head and smirked while he talked, “God the thing I could do to you.” He said grabbing my jaw, forcing my hurt eyes to look into his dark soulless ones. My body running in fear from the cold touch of his hands.
My tears crying louder as his body smashed into mine own, leaving me helpless and broken.
“Please!” I beg while I gasp for air from drowning in my own tears.
But he didn’t listen as he ripped my clothes into shreds leaving my bear body against the lifeless floor. Leaving a faint whisper in my ear of how I am simply an object of the society.

I wipe my tears from my past as I approach the torn grey shack that I call home.
“Arabella where have you been?!” Maggie yelled as I snuck back in through the window.
“I’ve been out,” I say, as I look around our four bedded shack that they locked us up in.
“What? Why?” Lexi, the youngest, asked.
“Thinking, Lex. I just had to think.” I say kneeling down to her level, so my hands rest upon her shoulders.
“About what? What were you possible thinking about?
“I don't know, things.” I say brushing off her constant nagging.
“You know if you weren't back here by night they would kill us Arabella!
“Uh I know that.” I say as I fix my hair back into a tight ponytail.
“You have been gone all day! You we'd missed all of the work for today!” Maggie screamed as her nostrils flared, clearly getting worked up about my absence for the last day.
“Oh Mags, don’t worry. I’m fine. Stop being so, so scared.” I say with  hint of sass.
“No, not fine!”
“It’s no big deal rea-”
“Your job! Your responsibilities. The rules, the laws Ara.” Maggie said narrowing her eyes into mine. “I had to do your work today all by myself Ara! It was me who had to bathe Lexi, it was me who had to feed her and clothe her.” Maggie states as she passes back and forth with clenching fists.
“I didn’t ask you to do my job.” I say crossing my arms over my chest.
“It is the law. The rules. Its how our society works.” Maggie said raising her voice with each word.
“I’m sorry Mags, okay?” I say with a hint of compassion in my voice. Releasing maybe I shouldn’t of gone out that long.
“There are rules.” Maggie barely whispered into the silent room.
“Anyway, We are leaving. I am tired of it here. They have controlled our lives. We aren’t even our own person anymore. They say they are trying protect us from the outside world. But what is so bad about is? They have blinded us about where we came ‘;from or what we are even here for. I;ve had enough. I’m leaving and so are you guys if you wish… but you know if you stay you will be punished.” I say looking at the three confused girls.
“This is wrong Ara…” Lexi  says to me “But I think we need to trust her on this one guys. Arabella is the oldest and she has been here longer than any of us. She knows what is good for the group.”
I huffed at Lexi’s response feeling a bit of guilt considering this is really for my roommates and time is running out my the second. “Let’s go grab your things. We are leaving tonight and I don’t care what it takes or if you even survive this, But I am leaving and I suggest you follow. We all know without me, you wouldn’t know what to do. So get your stuff now or I will leave you here alone.” No one moved. Their bodies were frozen as they tried to process on my words. “Now I said!” I yell as the fear rose up their body at the sound of my words. “Look I'm sorry. I just.. You guys just need to listen to me and trust me on this.” I say relaxing my body.
“Ara... I’m scared.” Lexi had whispered with tears starting to form in her big blue eyes.
“Lex, it’s okay. Look just.. grab what you need, and a coat it will be cold at night.” I say in a calm manner.
“I, I still don’t under-s-str-nd what’s going on.” Maggie stuttered, “This isn’t in the rules…’
“We need to go now I don’t care if you are coming or not. Stay in this hell hole or follow me and live a life worth living. I know the risks aren’t worth it to some of you rule followers but I am willing to do what it takes.” I say as I am grabbing my bag and shoving the necessary tools in order to survive outside the gates that contain us.
“But-but , it's wrong.. if they find us they will take our lives.” Maggie asked with fear all over.
“Oh darling, they already have.” I say with a smirk throwing my bag over my shoulder and climbing out of the window for the last time.
***************
I lead the four of us out the window of our soon to be old home. I looked at the girls and moved my hand up to my lips to tell them to be quite. Each of us had a backpack of what we needed most in this new world we are about to enter. In all honesty, I’m not sure what to expect. Their are rumors about beast called Suckuers. Who suck your souls and your confessions as they take your last breath. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that I live. I’ve lost my innocents the moment I realized what was happening around me, and I will not stand another moment in fear of my life. I won’t end up like Her, the one who died from the pain that He would bring. I won’t let that happen. I will never bring life into the world that is just waiting to explode with terrior.
I look around as the girls. By now, we have been walking for hours with the blaze of the sun down our backs. I can start to feel the pain in my feet rise to my legs. My throat searching for just an ounce of ice cold water. Nothing is in sight anymore. We haven’t seen a tree since we left our prison of a home. All that surrounds us is nothing, pure dirt with not a living soul. The air is toxic as I can see smoke fuming from far in the distance. There is no life left in this world. Everything is out of order. The colors have seem to fade, and what is left is just black and grey.

****************
She is winter now.
Coldness reaches her heart as death overtakes her. Her emotions are hidden on the layers of snow- keep getting higher and higher. Frozen to the ground, as she can't bear to speak. Her eyes are frozen, but snowflakes fall like tears. She's weaker now, than she's has ever been before. Her last breath has been blown into the cold winter night. She could of lived if she held on a little more. Her last night was cold, but it didn't matter anymore, for she could no longer feel it. She couldn't handle everything that has been gone. She couldn't bare to watch beauty die right from her eyes. The temperature began to drop, and soon her heart beat slowed down. After a while the shaking shiver of her ice body stopped. She has now fallen with a final wind gusts that blew her off into the dark misty sky. For she is like winter, death that is harsh but beautiful. But her story was worth the death it cost, for people now know that what they hear or read about isn’t always true, and like her last breath we are now all “free.”