It was a rainy evening in downtown Seattle. The metal cars in the automotive shop began to rust through the leak in the roof. The sign outside the shop that read “Big Chuck’s” swayed with the wind. The shop was empty inside except for one lonely soul. Reading a Men’s Health magazine sat Mr. Kyle, a giraffe pondering how his life could become such a mess. His coworkers, the aardvarks, were not fond of him and bullied him continuously. All Mr. Kyle wanted to do was knit and get by. He had a true passion for the automotive business, but the aardvarks discouraged him over and over again. He cried himself to sleep in the shop that night, awaiting another day of despair.
“Wake up already Mr. Kyle!” screeched Clarence, boss of the shop and king of the aardvarks.
Mr. Kyle was alarmed that he had overslept and there were already customers in the shop. Clarence and his gang of aardvarks proceeded to laugh at Mr. Kyle and throw mufflers at his knees.
“We oughta take him out with the tire iron!” yelled Maurice, the aardvark who was relocated to Seattle from New Jersey with the witness protection program and was not all there in the head.
Mr. Kyle trembled at the thought of the aardvarks brutally beat him. He was thankful that Clarence stopped Maurice from going too far.
“Everyone back to work, it’s a busy time of year!” exclaimed Clarence.
Mr. Kyle knew he couldn’t stay in the shop much longer. A change was in order. His emotions hit rock bottom and his gut sank. He wondered why no one liked him and it greatly troubled him. He left the shop early that day, unknown to Clarence, to get his thoughts together for what he would do next.
It was 2 a.m. as Mr. Kyle was woken up by strange noises outside. He quickly threw on his robe and stumbled down the stairs. Mr. Kyle lived on a busy street, so noise was not uncommon. But this was different than ever before and Mr. Kyle knew it. He opened the door to abruptly get smacked in the face with an egg.
“He’s awake!” screamed Maurice as the aardvarks fled the scene.
The aardvarks piled in their Priuses and accelerated away. Mr. Kyle wiped the egg yolk off his face to find his house covered in splattered eggs. The aardvarks must have thrown over 3 dozen eggs, covering his entire house. There were even a few thrown through the open window on the side, sprayed all over his knitting equipment. All Mr. Kyle could do was cry and wonder how his life became this bad. He needed a solution and he developed a sinister plan. He had to assassinate Clarence.
Mr. Kyle hadn’t had a violent thought since he pushed the bully raccoon, Wallace, over in 2nd grade. But desperate times call for desperate measures and Mr. Kyle knew it. He went to his local Wal-Mart to collect supplies. The cashier gave him a peculiar look as he checked out with trash bags, duct tape and a hammer. Nothing could stop Mr. Kyle as he proceeded to Clarence’s house. He drove so recklessly; it was like he had horse blinders on.
He barged in the red front door with no restraint. He woke up the slumbering Clarence and whacked him in the head with the hammer. Mr. Kyle’s barbaric outrage knocked Clarence out cold, but left him alive on purpose. He then taped his mouth tightly shut and put him in the trash bag as he thought to himself, *how will I transport the body to my location? What if someone sees me? * Thoughts lingered through his mind but there was no turning back now. Mr. Kyle threw Clarence’s body in the side cart of his moped and sped away. He made the half-hour trek from Kirkland, a suburb by Seattle, to the Space Needle downtown.
It was still the early morning, around 4 a.m. His plan was still in order and there were only a few figures at Rusty’s, the local bar nearby. Things looked clear. Mr. Kyle chucked Clarence on his back as he took his jet thrusters out and attached them to his four feet. He held onto the aardvark tightly and boosted to the very top. The shock of it all woke Clarence up and was frazzled to find himself in a bag. He began to kick to break out.
“Cut it out!” yelled Mr. Kyle as he ripped open the bag.
“Why in the world have you brought me up here?” questioned Clarence.
“Your time is up Clarence! There is a new era coming! An era of giraffe in charge of auto shops, no longer taking orders from aardvarks. I’ve had enough of you, be gone!” cried Mr. Kyle as his fingers slipped one by one letting Clarence fall to the parking lot in downtown Seattle.
His body splattered and Mr. Kyle thought no one saw it. He felt a rush of power come over him. Little did he know, the aardvarks went to Rusty’s after the debacle at Mr. Kyle’s house. Maurice saw the whole thing and couldn’t believe his eyes. He became red in the face with anger as his hatred for Mr. Kyle grew. They couldn’t catch Mr. Kyle because he used his jets to fly home. Mr. Kyle did not know his life was now in danger.
The next day was sunny and Mr. Kyle thought his future was brighter than ever. The nicest aardvark, Franklin, who had a concerned look on his face, quickly approached him.
“You’ve gotta get outta here! They saw it all!”
“What are you talking about? What happened?” asked Mr. Kyle, trying to play dumb.
“This is no time to joke! They saw you kill Clarence and are planning to come after you today! I researched and found an all giraffe auto shop in Mongolia. I know you’ll fit in much better there. Here is your ticket. Now hurry!” exclaimed Franklin.
Mr. Kyle, perplexed as to how they witnessed it, rushed off to the airport to catch his flight. Franklin smirked as he left, knowing exactly what he got Mr. Kyle into. He had pleasant flights and was glad to be out of there. He landed and read a sign with his name on it. He was surprised to find a chauffeur there to take him to his new auto shop and he was giddy with excitement.
“So how do the other giraffes like it there?” asked Mr. Kyle.
“Uh,yeah, they love it,” chuckled the chauffeur.
Mr. Kyle was worried about his uncertainty but did not let it affect him too much. He arrived at a rundown jail with barb wired fence surrounding the entire facilities. Starved giraffes stared him down as kangaroos cracked whips forcing them to get back to work.
“Are you sure this is where I’m supposed to be? I thought I was going to an auto shop,” said the puzzled Mr. Kyle.
“An auto shop, eh? Man they’re really stretching it these days. Now get out!” yelled the warden, Gregorio.
“There must be some mistake!” pleaded Mr. Kyle as he was ripped from the car and thrown to the ground.
The kangaroos began to force him to move rocks and dig holes.
“You’re here because you’ve misbehaved. And this is where you shall stay!” screamed Gregorio.