Target Practice | Teen Ink

Target Practice

March 3, 2013
By kbatra SILVER, Needham, Massachusetts
kbatra SILVER, Needham, Massachusetts
6 articles 0 photos 12 comments

I stand behind the sharp steel pillar, which struts out like a mountain, in the cold room, I start to breath rapidly, and more excitedly. This, again, is my chance. I could finally kill him!

Past the pillar is a door shielded by a guard, in black like a starless sky. I will have to negotiate past him to reach my target.

I pull a silver, non-bent, paper clip out of my pocket and a sleek knife in the other hand. A beautiful thing, that knife is. It has black gripped handle with a white design, and a stainless iron blade, about a foot long, that is sharp enough to cut bone, like a blunt kitchen knife slices butter.

I drop the paperclip on the base of the wide pillar. A quiet clink can be heard as it hits the steel, and breaks the silence in cold the room.

As the heavy footsteps of the guard near the pillar, from the right side, to check out the the noise, I silently slip to the left side of the pillar.

I hear the guard bend over and pick up the paper clip, from the otherwise perfectly clean floor. By the time the guard is inspecting the paperclip, and is standing up, I have snuck up behind him. I bring the knife upward, and quickly slit his throat, before the guard can react in any way. Then I slide the knife into the man’s heart, finishing what would otherwise be a painful slow death.

The guard collapses without a sound, while his blood spreads through his uniform, changing the black to a dark red color. I wipe the blood off my knife on the pant leg of the guard, and then walk toward the door the guard was standing by. The only sound in the modern, unforgiving, room is the dripping of the dead guard’s blood.

Now comes the fun part, I think, when I reach the door. I insert a microchip into the card slot of the door. The chip will hack into the computer system in the building, and will unlock every door in the house.

I pull out my pistol into my empty hand, the familiar feeling warming my hand, and walk through the now unlocked door which leads into an open living space, which is much more welcoming then the sharp room before. I dive behind a couch and crouch down, so no one will see me. When I peer over the couch I realize that my target is around the next corner of the room, talking to someone. That person is the target’s brother, and together they run two restaurants, and are in the drug trafficking business.

I smile solemnly. The brother will be a bonus on top of my target. I look to make sure there are no other people in the bright expansive room. I pull out my knife in my left hand, which still has a red tinge sparkling on it. I need to be much stealthier now, so I don’t alert the brothers before I reach them, for they are cold blooded killers who have a better aim with a gun than anyone else that I can think of.

I see that there is a sort of bar that travels the whole length of the room that I can see, and then turns the corner to where my target is. I crawl to the bar, which has granite counters and stainless steel cupboards and appliances, and walk behind the counter. I crawl past the large, clean, bar, slowly narrowing the distance between me and my target. After the turn, the bar ends and there are piles of barrels, stacked like a wooden wall.

I look past the end of the bar and get my first look of my target, and his brother. They are standing, facing the other direction, and the both have black semi-automatic rifles slung across their backs. I slit the side of one of the barrels to see what is inside, and my knife comes out covered in white powder. Cocaine.

I look more closely at the brothers, and see they are looking intently at a large flat screen TV, which is displaying statistics of some sort. As quietly as I can, I crawl towards them.

When I am three feet away from the two men I jump up making a thumping noise.

Startled the brothers turn around.

Right when they do this, I slide the knife through the targets brother’s neck, while firing my silenced pistol in my target’s head. As they both collapse to the ground, I see the blue-green color of life drift away from their eyes, and their bloodied mouths open in surprise. The only sound to be heard is the heavy thump of the bodies hitting the wooden floor.

I stick my gleaming knife into each man’s heart, to ensure their deaths.

Now I have no time to lose. I grab my red knife from my target’s heart, which sets off another wave of blood, gushing from his punctured chest.

Past the TV the men were looking at, is a wall of tinted windows, so I swiftly run to them. I only have a little time left, before someone notices the dead guard.

This is where I am going to have to make noise. I swing my arm, using the butt of my pistol to smash the window. The crash of the windows ring in the air, and an alarm begins to blair all around me.

I hear shouts from behind me, so I pull a cord in my mini backpack, and dive out of the broken window, from the 17th story penthouse of the building. As I am falling I laugh. Is this worth it? I think. Why did I do it? Why? Falling makes you question everything you know.

After two seconds of falling, I snap out of it, and pull the second cord in my backpack, releasing a black parachute. I don’t care if anyone sees me anymore. I see my goal.

When I land I begin to run, and cut the draping parachute from my bag. I sprint towards a black BMW and dive inside. The car starts driving before I can even close the door.

When I sit down, the car speaks in a robotic voice. “Objective complete”.

“Save and logout”. I reply.

“Saving”. It bleeps.

I close my eyes and wait.

When I open my eyes, the helmet that was covering my face has retracted and I am back in the “tube”, as everyone calls it, after I have completed another level. I can’t wait to text my friends that I have finally completed level 57. None of them are that far.

As I walk out of the “tube”, into the basement of my house, I hear my mother calling; “John time for dinner”!

I smile a tired smile, and then walk up the stairs into my house, escaping the promise of the “tube”.


The author's comments:
This is an action story with violence, that has a neat twist at the end. I hop you like it.

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This article has 6 comments.


on Mar. 29 2013 at 4:00 pm
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not<br /> I can only see a part<br /> Of this picture he&#039;s painting<br /> God is God and I am man<br /> I will never understand<br /> Because only God is God

I really liked it. My only advise would be to go back over an check your grammer. There were a few things that needed correcting. Overall, good job though :)

kmeep GOLD said...
on Mar. 21 2013 at 7:07 pm
kmeep GOLD, Woodbury, New Jersey
17 articles 2 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you can&#039;t laugh at yourself, laugh at other people.<br /> -Tim Hawkins

Nice twist!

kbatra SILVER said...
on Mar. 20 2013 at 6:09 pm
kbatra SILVER, Needham, Massachusetts
6 articles 0 photos 12 comments
thanks a lot for the commet.. ill improve all my writing especially this one!

kbatra SILVER said...
on Mar. 20 2013 at 5:38 pm
kbatra SILVER, Needham, Massachusetts
6 articles 0 photos 12 comments
thanks ill look into it

CammyS SILVER said...
on Mar. 20 2013 at 8:12 am
CammyS SILVER, Papillion, Nebraska
5 articles 0 photos 188 comments

Favorite Quote:
No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else&#039;s draft. <br /> H. G. Wells <br /> Don&#039;t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. <br /> Mark Twain

The plot was good, but I felt like you "told" too much about what was going on rather than "showing". Do you know what I'm talking about? John explains everything he does before he does it, which sort of jars the reader. Like when you write "i start to breath rapidly and more excitedly. This, again, is my chance. I could finally kill him!" It seems like sort of the "lazy-man's way" to tell the reader the character is excited to kll the man. Maybe somehting more like (and this is just a suggestion, you don't have to take it) "My heart, already beating quickly, speeds up tenfold as I duck behind the pillar. I've trained long and hard for this mission, and now, as I creep ever closer to my goal, only now do I fully believe that this dream mission wasn't just a hoax put on by the agency. I'm finally going to kill Richard Benson." By assigning the murdered man a name, the reader is able to connect (and hate) with him more. And instead of just saying they are excited, show the y are excited! Sorry for all the repetition, it is far to early to be awake, let alone at school. Your description was excellent, just fixing a couple trouble spots would definetly improve the story. Keep writing! 

on Mar. 20 2013 at 7:55 am
E.J.Mathews GOLD, International Falls, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 145 comments
I really liked tis story. The end reminded me of one I'm worin on, only the kids are spies, not assassins. I ave only two sugestions I could make. First, tis story was just a little arder to read because of numerous misplaced uses of commas, but that isn't too hard to fix. Te second ting was tat wen you talked about te main charactor goin beind te bar, you used te word "bar" a little too much. I would try to reread it and replace a few of those "bar"'s with "it"'s. Other than that I absolutely loved your story! Great job!