The days here are long and slow. Full of waking up early and going to bed late. Full of sitting, and eating, and laying, and talking and at the end of the day still losing myself in my own thoughts. I’ve started questioning who I am which sounds stupid but, my, does it keep me busy.

I can feel myself changing. I’ve always known I don’t like change but I never thought I would hate it when it happens to myself. I keep telling myself that this is normal, that people change and grow for the better. But every time I tell myself that I hear something in my head asking me,

“What if you’re not changing for the better? What if all this change is just you going from okay to worse? What if it ruins you?”