Divorce and How it Affects the Children | Teen Ink

Divorce and How it Affects the Children

November 29, 2023
By Nabhaan_K BRONZE, Lahore, Other
Nabhaan_K BRONZE, Lahore, Other
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Introduction

Divorce is a process in which a marriage is terminated. In divorce, both parties of the marriage disassociate and separate themselves from each other.  The impact of divorce causes numerous negative impacts on children. Children who have experienced divorce result in being more aggressive and act more impulsive (FamilyMeans, 2021). This happens because they mirror the actions of their elders.  Divorce also leads the children to anxiety and it can cause substance abuse. The significance of this topic is immense. Not only does the divorce of parents cause anxiety for the children it also causes depression and loss of well-being (D'Onofrio, 2019), and especially nowadays when children have pressure from social media, school or even friends, children should not have to face against these types of issues. The main reason for my selection of this topic was because nowadays divorce is so common and people don’t realize the negative impact that it leaves on children.

Methodology

As per my primary research I will be conducting an interview in which I have prepared a series of questions that the interviewee would be answering.  The questions have been prepared with the criteria being kept in mind. Along with my primary research, I will be using various secondary research methods such as using different websites, articles and peoples past experiences as a way of getting information.

Research Aims

The main aim of my research is to create awareness regarding this topic as many children in this world experience the divorce of their parents and then suffer from many health problems such as headaches from lack of sleep and suffer from many mental health problems such as depression which eventually affects the child’s health. This is a very serious issue as lately a lot of children are being affected by this as the rate of people being divorced has increased.

 

 

Causes

There are many causes of divorce among parents. Some of them may include the following:

• Lack of commitment or trust: Commitment is a huge part of a marriage. When couples lack commitment in their relationships marriages tend to suffer. Trust is a very important and an integral part of marriage. It becomes really hard for a couple to stay together if there is a lack of trust.
• Communication problems: A major cause of divorce maybe communication problems such as speaking before thinking, blaming each other, not listening what your partner has to say or only talking about what you want to talk about which eventually leads for a couple to part ways.
• Domestic abuse: Domestic violence mainly takes place when someone tries to maintain or gain power over their intimate partner. Abuse mainly consists of psychological, physical, emotional and receiving threats from your partner. This type of violence effects people of every type of socioeconomic classes and different backgrounds.
• Financial incompatibility: This is the type of issue in which both parties in a couple share different saving or spending habits or they don’t circulate their funds between themselves. This eventually leads to an unhealthy relationship thus leading to a divorce.
Consequences

The consequences of divorce among parents are immense and no child should have to go through them but, unfortunately, as for some children in the world they suffer from the following consequences after the divorce of their parents:

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) occurs due to multiple frightening or traumatic events which leave behind negative effects on a person’s brain, in this case children are a subject to PTSD. Researches show that 29% of boys and 39%of girls suffer from PTSD from the divorce of your parents.
• Depression: This is a serious type of illness which affects the way people think, act or how they tend to feel.Depression is one of the major mental health problemswhich affect children with divorced parents. It may also cause one to lose interest in activities that they once enjoyed/liked.
• Poor performance in academics: A recent research from Daniel Potter of the University of Virginia has found that children belonging to elementary schools faced severe deterioration in their academics when compared to their past.
• Substance abuse: Substance abuse is not something you should be taking lightly. This commonly occurs between teenagers. This consists of when people start the use drugs and intoxicants which affects their health.
 

 

Perspectives

National Perspective: Within the last decade, the numbers of divorce cases in Pakistan have risen tremendously and due to this it has badly affected the psychological health of many children and women. The impact of divorce on women created economic crisis, deterioration of mental health and even remarriage problems (Qamar, 2021). It is reported that at the end of 2019 11,143 divorce cases were filed just in Karachi and more than 1000 cases were filed in the first quarter of 2020.  In 2019 alone around 2100 children were affected by divorce.

Global Perspectives: A divorce can be a highly stressful event both for the couple and the children. It can leave you physically and emotionally upset. During 2017, the countries with the highest divorce rates were Luxembourg with divorce rates there being about 87%, followed by Spain which has a divorce rate of 65% and third being France with the divorce rates there being 55% (Nguyen, 2017) and the number has only risen since then. Currently in the United States almost 50% of the marriages end in divorce.

Local Perspective:

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS/ANSWERS:

1. What were your initial feelings regarding the divorce?
I was devastated. It felt that I will never be whole again. I felt very lonely and suicidal

2. Did you face any poor performance in academics?

I was doing my masters at that time and it just didn’t pass through. I could not sit in the exams.

3. Did you try opening up about it to someone.

As I was a male nobody understood what I really felt. People perceive men to be strong and that’s why they assume men don’t need any emotional support, but they do. I wish there are more helplines and centers to treat men after the divorceof our parents.

 

 

Course of Action

National: In Muslim culture, divorce is frowned upon and it is not encouraged. Many women are taught not to consider divorce. Due to this many women in Pakistan just do not consider divorce as an option. Under the Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act section 2, numerous possibilities offer for a divorce for the spouse of a pair (Divorce in Pakistan, 2021). If a husband marries another woman without the consent of his first wife then the wife has the opportunity to file a divorce. Another ground that gives a wife the opportunity to file a divorce is if the husband has been abusive to the wife. This includes physical, mental or emotional abuse.

Global: All around the world the situation of divorce is handled differently, which happens majorly due to the difference in culture and the impact of the society we live in. In Portugal divorce can be settled by the mutual consent of both the parties involved or one can file a case against each other in court (Divorce and legal separation, 2021).  The divorce of a couple affects the children the most. Unlike all the properties and the finances, which are split up among the couple, the custody of a child goes to one parent. In India, the mother still has the opportunity to have the custody of her child but in-case of a re-marriage, the custody belongs to the father of the child. (Child Custody Laws in India, 2019).

Personal recommendation: In my opinion the government should offer different relief funds to the one who is financially unstable in the relationship, which unfortunately most of the time is the woman in the relationship due to problems like gender inequality and gender pay gap. The government should also put out different marketing campaigns, encouraging divorce if a marriage does not work out, as in the society we live in divorces are discouraged.

International Organizations helping towards the cause:Kids matter is a non-profit organization which helps bring a voice to those children whose parents are getting divorced, in the family court system (Kids Matter). These types of organizations really help the children with overcoming obstacles while their parents are being divorced. Most governments all around the world also offer different types of help to victims of divorce.

 

 

 

 

Defense

In many relationships divorce is inevitable, and leaves a lifelong impact on a child’s mental health. Divorce originates due to multiple causes but blaming a child is not and cannot be one of them. Divorce leaving PTSD on a child is not his/her fault and must not be blamed for it.  If a child is performing poorly in his/her academics it is not their fault. Divorce is a lot to take in especially for the children, so it is okay if they lose focus on their studies for a while. They must be supported throughout the process as it is not their fault and especially for boys/men expressing one’s feeling does not make them less of a “MAN”.

 

Comparison of Cause and Consequence

Cause: In my opinion one of the major causes of divorce are “Communication problems”. Speaking before thinking is one of the major ways to ruin a relationship. Blaming each other and not taking responsibilities of their own actions worsens the ties of a couple. Not sharing your problems to each other or discussing them makes matter worse.

Consequence: In my opinion of the major consequence of divorce is “Substance abuse”. This is an issue which has ruined people’s lives. Children using substances such as Nicotine, Heroin, etc. ruins people’s lives and many people overdose on these substances which ultimately cost them their precious lives. This is a common issue which is uprising among the youth which must be stopped immediately.

 

Evaluation of Sources

In order to collect information for this report I made use of different websites which consisted of Government run organizations/websites, privately run websites by companies and even websites written by authors. They were credible and could be relied on providing us with correct information. The use of these websites enhanced my knowledge on the selected topic and gave me broader image on divorce. The websites used were credible and could be trusted on. These websites helped me gather information and enhanced my knowledge about divorce and the impacts that it has on the children.

Conclusion

The research question that I chose for my Individual Report was, does divorce lead to a negative impact on a child's well-being? My response to this is “Yes”. The divorce of parents does affect a child’s mental health/well-being. For example as discussed in the interview above we can see that the divorce of parents shatters the mental health of a child especially when he/she is young. There are many causes which lead to divorce such as; lack of trust, financial problems or even domestic abuse.  Divorce can also affect a child in many ways such as; giving them PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Dis-order), depression and cause the child to have poor performance in academics.

 

Personal reflection

Academically: If I discuss my personal reflection I can clearly state that while working on this report my knowledge regarding this topic has really increased. I got to know about the different types of struggles faced by children when their parents are divorced. Off-topic I was also engaged in different operating software which helped me master them.

 

Personally: After researching on my topic, which is divorce, I have started to look at marriages from different angles. I have learned that sometimes marriages do not last and it’s okay for both the parties to part ways, or if they do work out the couple should stay together or sometimes couples decide not to part ways for the sake of their children. Mental health is a serious issue and we should acknowledge it and work towards helping people who suffer from it.


The author's comments:

Hi! My name is Nabhaan and I belong the the culturally rich country of Pakistan!!! The article I’ve decided to publish is regarding divorce among parents and how it affects the children, and it can impact them significantly, it may lead to feelings of confusion, sadness, insecurity and along with that children may suffer from trust issues, as the divorce rates surge across the globe, I felt as if this topic needed to be brought into light hence why I’ve decided to publish this article!!! 


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