I can’t imagine my school year without drama, it’s practically a part of me. I can’t help but love it. I can’t pinpoint what I love about it, though. Maybe it’s the amazing costumes and makeup that you get to go on stage with. Maybe it’s the friends you’ll meet and the people you’ll get closer to. It could be the hilarious lines people get, not just you. I’m not entirely sure what it is, all I know is that I love it. Being on stage is like being in my happy place. Ever since 6th grade (when I finally stopped being a shy and awkward person), I’ve auditioned for the play every year. It’s one of those things that just doesn’t change, like the ponytail I always come to school wearing. At least, pretty close to always. It’s like the same red or blue polo shirt I have to wear because the white ones are always too big for me. I’ve always gone into an audition and luckily, got a part every time. Seriously, I’m lucky. I don’t think I’m that good but I enjoy it, and that’s all that matters. 8th grade was no different, but there was a catch. It was a musical. When I saw that it was a musical, I didn’t think I would get a big part. Why, you ask? I had an average voice and I went pretty much unnoticed back when I was enrolled in choir. There were other girls like Zoe, Nicole, Thalia, and Heidi that were way better than me and also auditioning.

They’re gonna get all the leads. I thought. But I’m gonna try anyway.

That Wednesday afternoon, I put my bags and my saxophone outside the choir room. I took a deep breath.

Here goes nothing.

“Where is it?! Where is it?!”

“Hey, do you know where the cast list is?”

“I am so nervous, you have no idea.”

“It’s over here, by the microwaves!”

The cafeteria was a chorus of anxious middle schoolers awaiting their fate. Would they just resume their regular lives or would they contribute hours upon hours to create a great show? Nobody knew, but we would soon find out.

I stood on my tip toes and jumped up to try and catch a glance at my name. Eventually, the giants in front of me moved out of the way and I got a good look at the list. The question was, would my name be there?

Sour Kangaroo: Amaia Rose

There it was. Amaia Rose, Sour Kangaroo. Was I a main? Well, I wasn’t at the top of the list and I was close to where the chorus was so I could only assume that I wasn’t a main.

I didn’t care about that, I actually got in. I, with my average voice, got in the musical. I wanted to jump up and down and just scream. I didn’t, I kept my cool. It was killing me inside though. I ran up to my friends who were sitting nearby. My skirt was bouncing as I skipped over to them.

“Guys! Guys! I got in! I’m in the musical!”

I couldn’t wait to start.

“Hey Seussical cast, welcome to your first rehearsal! I’m Mr. Adams and I’ll be working with you when it comes to singing.”

Mr. Adams was a kind-looking man with black hair and a beard. His classroom was full of music and color. I was sitting on the carpet with Zoe, Thalia, Nicole and Heidi as Mr. Adams talked about rehearsals and what to expect. Zoe’s red hair rested on Heidi’s shoulder. Heidi’s blonde hair almost illuminated and she just oozed fun and energy. Thalia and Nicole sat nearby, Nicole’s brown hair always bedazzled with flowers and Thalia just letting her black hair curl naturally. They were all pretty, they all had good voices, and I was just… tiny little me. Mr. Adams sent us the rehearsal tracks to all the songs and we had a read-through the day before the rehearsal. I looked through the songs I was in and the song I thought was the scariest for me to sing was Biggest Blame Fool. It turned out that I had a pretty big part, I was the main villain. I was the character that little kids would boo at every time they came up on stage because I treat the other characters badly. I opened up the rehearsal track and just sang along to the best of my ability. My voice was a bit shaky and I sang more than a few pitches wrong at the beginning. After singing it a couple of times, I finally got the hang of it. The lyrics were glued in my head but the pitches were stuck with really weak tape. I knew that I had to sing Biggest Blame Fool that day, and I was more than a bit nervous about it. This was the first time I had ever sung a solo like this. Sure, I had smaller solos back in choir, but nobody remembers those. When Mr. Adams played the track, I put my script down and just went for it. I felt so confident and free, as if I could have the attitude that usually gets kids grounded, while singing and absolutely nothing would happen to me! I sang my heart out that day, I wanted to give a good impression. When the song ended, Zoe, Thalia, Nicole, and Heidi gave me high fives.

“Yeah! Go Amaia!” Someone shouted and I just swelled with pride. I just did my first solo out there. Did everyone in the school hear it? No, but that didn’t matter. I was prepared to show Mr. Adams and everyone else in the cast what I had.

I’d never felt better.

Months felt like weeks running up to opening night. Every show, we always take out seven hours of a Saturday to rehearse like the world was going to end tomorrow. I had sung Biggest Blame Fool almost every day and my voice felt as if I had just finished the pacer test in PE. It was sore, it was dry, but I couldn’t slow down. I had to act my way through, but my acting isn’t as good as I thought it was. I ended up being too over the top (I didn’t know that was a possibility, but it is) and I sounded shouty just as I had feared over the past few weeks. There was always that pressure to just be more forceful but I flopped on my face. I overexerted myself and everyone could hear it.

“Hey, Amaia.” Mr. Adams said just as I was heading out of the rehearsal, my face red with sweat.

“Oh, hi Mr. Adams.” I replied, my voice hoarse and I jolted my backpack to try and stop it from falling off.

“Listen, I know you’re doing your best. What you’ve been doing for the past few weeks is enough. You don’t need to do much more than that or else you’ll ruin your voice. You’re doing really well.”

I smiled but then my smile faltered a little.

“So my singing wasn’t off key and shouty before?”

He laughed and shook his head.

“Of course not, you were belting. If you were shouting and off-key, I would’ve told you that at the start. You have a good voice, Amaia. Don’t be afraid to own it, because that’s what Sour Kangaroo would do.”
I nodded.

“I suppose you’re right. Thanks Mr. Adams!”

“See you tomorrow.” He smiled as I picked up my phone to call my mom.

I was ready to go out on stage. I was ready to dance and sing my little 8th grade heart out. I ran into the green room, sporting a purple t-shirt from the show I did in 6th grade, blue jeans and brown boots. My hair was standing up thanks to pipe cleaners. I took my dusty orange 1970s dress off the hanger and put it on in the changing room. The room was bustling with cast and crew members. Zoe was wearing a sweet blue dress and a white cardigan. Heidi and Thalia wore feathery dresses, Heidi’s was pink and Thalia’s was baby blue. Nicole was wearing an olive jumpsuit and she was doing her makeup in a nearby mirror. The director of the show was Mrs. Holt, my 6th grade Language Arts teacher and she directed the 6th and 7th grade shows. I waited in line and I sat in front of Mrs. Holt to get my makeup.

“Are you ready, Amaia?” She asked and I smiled.

“I’ve never been more.”

After everyone had hair and makeup done, we headed into the wings.

“Oh my god, everyone in our grade are gonna be here. Even the guys!” Heidi flushed.

“Really?” I asked. “Who?”

“Like, all of them.” Nicole trembled.

“But don’t worry, we’re gonna kill it.” Zoe reassured.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Thalia replied.

She was right. Since Biggest Blame Fool was the third song in the entire musical, I stood in the wings through the second song and sashayed on stage towards the end to spring right into the song.

“Humpf! Humphed a voice.” I announced loudly and went down the sunshine yellow slide. I didn’t worry if I sounded good, I just wanted to have fun. I let my confidence and my attitude take over and completely replace the shy person people have known since I came in 6th grade. I’ve never felt more like myself while I was someone else. The applause afterwards was rapturous and I swelled with pride. The playoff was beginning as I strutted off.

“Na na ne na na!” I jeered. “Have fun, Horton!”

I just did what I thought was impossible just a few months ago, and I loved every second of it.

It’s almost a year later, I’m a freshman. As I look back at that show, I feel like a more confident and all around happy person. I fell in love with singing because of that show. Other people tell me that dropping choir for two years was a mistake because of that performance. I’m not as scared going into musicals in the future because as of right now, I’m in one! What gets me every time is that at the start of 8th grade, I thought I had an average voice and that I would never do a solo since I wasn’t in choir anymore. I ended up proving myself wrong because I did exactly what made me scared. The hilarious part is that what I thought was terrifying ended up being a lot of fun. That show opened the door to a new part of me, and I’m not afraid to move forward in my life with it.